A little over two months ago a friend of mine was killed while serving in Afghanistan. I remember getting the telephone call as if it happened 5 minutes ago. I got the call while I was at work. "You heard what happened right?" "No?" "
Alan died.
Alan is dead. He got killed by a suicide bomber and that is all we know for now." It hit me so hard I couldn't even cry. It didn't seem real. So many questions started going through my mind. It was like one big blur. He was dead? Just like that? How could this happen? Why did this have to happen? Are they sure it was him? Couldn't it be a mistake it happens all the time, right? After I hung up the phone I sat there for 30 minutes or more in total shock replaying the conversation in my head, thinking the same questions over and over. Finally after I had come to the realization that this
was real, that this wasn't a joke, and that Alan
would but coming home, but just
not the way he was supposed to. I can't even begin to write the emotions that I was feeling.
So many emotions hit me like a ton of bricks and in that moment all I knew to do was cry. Cry because I knew I would never see Alan again, because he left behind so many people that loved him. I cried because his two year old daughter would grow up only hearing stories about how much her dad loved her but never really getting the chance to experience that love first hand. She would never get to see just how with one sentence Alan could have you rolling on the floor laughing. She will now have experience all of this through the pictures and the stories that we would tell her, but
oh the stories that we can tell her. I can't even begin to explain how much fun I used to have with Alan. See my best friend of 14 years was married to him, that is how I met Alan. I remember the very first night i was introduced to him, the memory stands out in my mind now more than ever. We got invited to his house for a friend of ours 21st birthday kegger. We were introduced and it was like that instant we were great friends. We started drinking and being retarded together as if we had been friend for a long time. Finally as the night was coming to an end he took me to a back room because he had to show me something important.
He fumbled through somethings and finally pulled out a shoebox with random things in it. Finally he pulled out a box that I knew had either a ring or earrings. He opened the box and at the moment he told me that he was going to ask my best friend to marry him. I remember telling him that he was drunk and really needed to wait until he was sober. He insisted that he wasn't and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. That is only the first of
many great memories with Alan. One of the last memories I have with him is one night I went to his and my bff's house. Alan decided that he wanted to play beer pong but we had a problem. We had
NO beer! So what was our solution? Go out and buy some beer? HA no way! Not us! We decided to play with the
rum that was in the freezer. So that night me and Alan played about 3 rounds of Sprite & Rum pong. Wow what a big mistake that was. That night Alan became one of my
girl boy friends. He had several heart to hearts about life and friendships and other stories that people will never know. There were several things that Alan opened up to me about that I'm not sure if he ever told anyone, and I told him things that i had never shared with anyone before. Yes of course the alcohol was to blame but that doesn't change the fact that that night I saw a different side to Alan and he saw a different side to me. I am so grateful that I had that night with him. I can honestly say at that night I considered Alan to be one of my best friends and I hope he thought of me the same. I could go on and on with stories that I had with Alan but I know no matter how much I talk/blog about the memories or how much I stop and wonder in a day, "is this real", the truth is
yes it
is real.
The day at the funeral home seeing all these pictures of Alan, seeing a casket that was close with two guys standing guard, seeing all of Alan's family and friends all together in a room mourning a life that was taken too soon in fact made it all real. It made me realize that Alan is gone and all I have left is the memories that I shared with him, and a lesson that was learned to spend every moment you can with the important people in your life. Stop focusing on the negative because life is way too short to take it for granted. In an instance it can be taken away from you or can be taken from someone that you love. So be sure you tell them you love them, or how much they mean to you, or just how grateful you are that they are in your life. You really never know when it may be your last chance.
RIP ALAN. you may be gone but you are not forgotten your memory will live on and on! I hope you've got everyone laughing up there like you always had us laughing down here. Watch over us and keep us safe and be sure to watch over tater tot and keep her safe. Miss you and I'll be seeing you.
So many emotions hit me like a ton of bricks and in that moment all I knew to do was cry. Cry because I knew I would never see Alan again, because he left behind so many people that loved him. I cried because his two year old daughter would grow up only hearing stories about how much her dad loved her but never really getting the chance to experience that love first hand. She would never get to see just how with one sentence Alan could have you rolling on the floor laughing. She will now have experience all of this through the pictures and the stories that we would tell her, but oh the stories that we can tell her. I can't even begin to explain how much fun I used to have with Alan. See my best friend of 14 years was married to him, that is how I met Alan. I remember the very first night i was introduced to him, the memory stands out in my mind now more than ever. We got invited to his house for a friend of ours 21st birthday kegger. We were introduced and it was like that instant we were great friends. We started drinking and being retarded together as if we had been friend for a long time. Finally as the night was coming to an end he took me to a back room because he had to show me something important. 
rum that was in the freezer. So that night me and Alan played about 3 rounds of Sprite & Rum pong. Wow what a big mistake that was. That night Alan became one of my 
The day at the funeral home seeing all these pictures of Alan, seeing a casket that was close with two guys standing guard, seeing all of Alan's family and friends all together in a room mourning a life that was taken too soon in fact made it all real. It made me realize that Alan is gone and all I have left is the memories that I shared with him, and a lesson that was learned to spend every moment you can with the important people in your life. Stop focusing on the negative because life is way too short to take it for granted. In an instance it can be taken away from you or can be taken from someone that you love. So be sure you tell them you love them, or how much they mean to you, or just how grateful you are that they are in your life. You really never know when it may be your last chance. 
Good post. You didn't fall into the trap of just typing 'I miss him so much" on repeat, but rather you told us about the man, and why you miss him. He sounds like a great guy. RIP Alan.
ReplyDelete